A friend of mine was robbed the last night. Well he wasn't actually robbed because he had nothing worth stealing. However the robber did come into his room and threaten to slice him up before checking his wallet and getting really upset that there was no money in it.
This led me to thinking about how I would react to a situation like this. Although reasonably far fetched, I would definitely be thinking this.
Jess stirs in her sleep as her subconscious alerts her about the person standing in her bedroom doorway. She gasps when she sees the dark silhouette of a tall, half baked man.
"Don't fucking move" screams the angry man "Lie down or I'll stab you in the throat."
"Oh no!" whispers a frantic Jess.
"Where's your money?" demands the man.
"I don't have any money" answers Jess, honestly.
"Where's your fucking money?" the man screams again.
"Seriously I don't have any money!" says a panicked Jess "Here, you can look in my purse if you want."
The robber snatches at her purse and opens it, much to his dismay, there is no money in the purse. "Where do you keep your money?" he screams again, even angrier this time.
At this point Jess is getting a little irritated. Why won't he believe that she doesn't actually have any money? She certainly doesn't look rich, she isn't wearing diamonds to bed or anything.
"Listen dude!" she yells back. "I work in a low paying job, I am in a lot of debt at the moment, all my money goes on my credit card and I don't get paid until next Saturday, OK? There is no fucking money!"
"I don't believe you!"
"I don't care if you don't believe me! I actually resigned from my job on Thursday, I haven't had time to sell anything on Ebay this week. I've just finished AWARD School and I'm really tired. It's so annoying hat you've woken me up by the way, I don't even say hello to Julian when he gets home from work at 1am, what makes you so special?"
The robber doesn't know what to say.
"I have scoliosis, which is really hurting right now, my parents split up 8 years ago and I really need to visit my grandmother before she passes away.
When I was little I had pet goats and I really like sleeping with a hot water bottle in winter. Is it cold outside?"
The robber leaves with no money.
